My life for the last three days has consisted of the assembly of furniture and violent scrubbing. The second action is because my landlord, who seemed like a nice enough guy and claimed he was going to paint and clean up before we got here, couldn't find the time. Maybe that's because every time I called him, he wasn't available and/or was on vacation. So I came back to find everything dirty, and Lisa K. and her roommate's hair all over the place.
The bathroom was horrendous; the toilet looked like it hadn't been cleaned in years, the tub had more streaks than the Yankees this year, and the shower curtain looked like it had bread mold growing on it. Unfortunately, I had to shower in it once before I got to clean it, and stood there like a little girl on my tiptoes, scared to touch anything. Although that and the kitchen have been pretty thoroughly cleaned, they still need to be mopped. But I don't mop. I have my maid do that for me. My maid's name is Kristin.
The even more joyous activity has been putting together every stick of furniture together by myself. Since Captain Silva is in Maryland sitting on a yacht in one of those sea captain hats playing shuffleboard, having caviar fights, and living in the lap of luxury, I'm the only one here for five days. So that bum gets to have everything ready for him when he gets here. I told him he owes me a night of hardcore drinking when he gets back, but he peed his little pants and said no he doesn't. He's at the very least buying us a communal bottle. Fucking mooch.
But back to the point. The last 48 hours of my life has revolved around diagrams such as the one here on the left. I bought a dresser at Target before I left, and figured I'd be able to put it together no sweat. This started bets at my house about how long it would take me to either: A) Shatter the pieces of the dresser in frustration, or B) call my dad and ask him when he could come up and do it for me.
I started to believe it, too, since I'm not too mechanically inclined. But guess what? That shit is standing up next to me as I type this. Granted, it did take a while for it to be completed, but that was because it threw me the unseen curveball of having to glue pieces together, which I wasn't prepared for, and had to give that shit time to dry. But other than that, it was no sweat. Booyakasha.
My bed and dresser also had to be assembled, but with no directions. They too took a while to become what one would consider furniture, but all's well that ends well.
This weekend will be dedicated to setting up the station for our Wednesday on-air premiere. We've got to clean down there, open about 11 tons of mail, and just make sure everything is in working order.
The first WONY-ites to be in town, Miller, Matt, Dante, Mabb, and myself (I would say Lisa P., but SHE'S NOT A MEMBER ANYMORE!!!! PPPH!!! SCHOOL HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET, AND YOU'RE BACK ALREADY?!?!? PATHETIC!) went out last night for just a regular, relaxing time. Other than when we were walking to General Clinton's Pub and saw some guy kicking the shit out of the passenger of a car, then the car tried to go in reverse really fast to get the guy off the car, but he hung onto the door and kept kicking until the car screeched away. I still can't believe we witnessed that, it was so surreal.
Well, time to stop jerking around on the computer, and get down to the station.
1 comment:
fuck you abrams. I'm not stevie b. i'm sure if kristin were a year younger than you and you graduated you'd be back here getting some too, so SHUT IT.
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