Saturday, December 18, 2004
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
...And You Know We Don't Give A Fuck If It's Your Birthday...
This is something that has bothered me for quite some time. I find it is much more prevalent in girls, but there are some guys who suffer this annoying disorder. I, of course, am talking about what the French call C'est mon anniversaire que j'ai besoin d'attention constante, or the Birthday/Attention Disorder.
This is when someone you know has their birthday coming up, and they demand that everyone they know make a big deal out of it. They need people to call, send them flowers, send them cards, carry them around on their shoulders so they don't have to walk, and so on.
Who cares about your birthday? So what. You have one every year. Why do you think you deserve preferential treatment because you popped out of a vagina on that day however many years ago? I mean, the stuff with family is permissible, like going out to dinner or something, but who the hell do you think you are they you expect your friends to lavish you with everything under the sun? My friends and I don't even know each other's birthdays. And even if we do, we don't care. No presents. No cards. No balloons, or cakes, or streamers. SOME of us go to work and do things we don't want to on our birthday, and actually treat it like it's any other day.
"It's your birthday. Good for you."
That's all you need. Why do you think you deserve nonstop praise? Give me a break.
This is when someone you know has their birthday coming up, and they demand that everyone they know make a big deal out of it. They need people to call, send them flowers, send them cards, carry them around on their shoulders so they don't have to walk, and so on.
Who cares about your birthday? So what. You have one every year. Why do you think you deserve preferential treatment because you popped out of a vagina on that day however many years ago? I mean, the stuff with family is permissible, like going out to dinner or something, but who the hell do you think you are they you expect your friends to lavish you with everything under the sun? My friends and I don't even know each other's birthdays. And even if we do, we don't care. No presents. No cards. No balloons, or cakes, or streamers. SOME of us go to work and do things we don't want to on our birthday, and actually treat it like it's any other day.
"It's your birthday. Good for you."
That's all you need. Why do you think you deserve nonstop praise? Give me a break.
The worst is when something doesn't go their way on their birthday? I've noticed this mostly in girls; they sit there, hysterically crying, saying, "And it's my BIRTHDAY!!!! Everything is supposed to go perfect on my birthday!!!! WAAAAAA!" I remember watching The Real World once, and it was when Sept. 11th happened, and it was the girl's birthday, and she has the fucking nerve to say, "Why does this have to happen on MY birthday?" Are you serious? What the hell is wrong with you. And sadly, I think if most people were put in this situation, they would react the same way.
Shut up. Are you three years old? Deal with it. Maybe if you were a rational human being, you could handle the slightest thing going wrong on 'your day.' Take off the stupid crown that says Birthday Girl. Nobody cares.
On a completely different subject, I don't think Gary Puckett and the Union Gap get nearly enough praise or airplay on classic rock stations.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
The Best and Worst of 2004
I realized when I came up with the idea of this that it's hard for me to remember all the way back to January. I'm going to do my best to make sure I don't leave anything out.
5 Best Things About 2004
5. Yankees Didn't Win the World Series - It's such a good feeling to know that all these annoying, fake ass Yankee fans were once again denied the chance to yell "27 CHAMPIONSHIPS, BABY!!!! WOOOO!!!" Really, with they way they restructure every off-season, and the way they pillage teams like Norsemen, you should except nothing less. And, add to the fact that it was the Red Sox, you had so many Yankee fans left with only one thing to say: "Yeah, well, uh......26 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS, BABY!!!! WOOOO!!!"
4. Grilled Cheese Videos - Hopefully we will get them online sometime. These things were so fun to make, and it's awesome that everyone likes them. I just kind of find it weird that of all things to catch on, it would be movies about grilled cheeses. It just proves people will buy into anything.
3. Quizno's -They opened one up right near my house over the summer. I have probably spent about $300 dollars since then on the near-perfect Chicken Carbonara. I have never eaten a sandwich like this before. You just have to make sure they put it through twice. I sometimes get tempted to start a franchise of this place. I really think anywhere you put it. It would make so much money, like the Arab who owns this new one. For the rest of the summer, you couldn't go there between 12 and 2:30, the lines would seriously be out the door.
2. Metal Gear Solid 3 - I have waited three long years to find out who the Patriots are. And although I am not totally content with what I found out, I am still glad they came out with a game with such great gameplay, and the classic Metal Gear storyline. Throw in the mother of all boss battles, which I still defy someone to beat it in under an hour. I just don't believe it can be done. I love those games so much. It doesn't get any better.
1. The Establishment of "oan" - This has changed my life. Who knew some random babble between me and Jackobel on the way home from white water rafting would turn into what it has become. I can't even go home anymore without our insane dialect creeping up on me and just jumping out of my mouth whenever I speak to anyone. I tip my hat to you, Carl Johnsoan. Jeffersoan. Clintoan. Nixoan. Madisoan. Washingtoan. Lincoan. Wilsoan. Hamiltoan.
5 Worst Things About 2004
5. Working at Tuesday Morning - This place sucked so bad. I figured working near the place where the rest of my friends worked would make for a less boring day, the fact that it was 2 seconds from my house meant that I could get up for work 5 minutes before I had to get there, and besides, who goes to Tuesday Morning? There can't be that much to do, right? EEEEEENNNNNNHHHHH. Wrong. Try unloading 900 boxes at 8 in the morning when it is 80 degrees out, leaving work to go to math class, then coming back to open all the boxes at breakneck speed. Then have a boss breathing down your neck asking you when all the boxes will be opened and how she used to do the same job by herself in one day. Bullshit. Your niece is a lesbian. If you were so skilled at it, why did you hire ME to do it? You wander around the store all day, and you're going to ask me why I'm not done opening a pile of boxes literally 11 feet high that all came from India and are all wrapped in Styrofoam and have bugs in them that look like they're from Total Recall? Get the fuck out of here. How about I just stop showing up? Keep your big lesbo workforce. Get them up at 7 to sweat their fallopians off. I don't need you and your shitty pay.
4. Taking Intro to Business - Dr. Walsh, it is not possible for me to memorize every single paragraph in 350 pages worth of material. And thanks by the way for giving us quizzes every week. And thanks for having a 2 1/2 hour class that you give us no break because you'll 'let us out early'. Oh, and I really appreciate you giving us 6 possible essay questions with 2 going to be on the final and we have to do both? I really am happy I am wasting my time memorizing 4 essays that I won't even need. What kind of teacher are you? Who says straight off, "I make my tests intentionally hard,"? Why would you do that? What pleasure do you get out of it? If you know its hard, why leave it that way? Do you think we have nothing else going on in our lives than to recite the three great economists and the pros and cons of a sole proprietorship (ease of start-up, possible tax advantages, secrecy, but unlimited liability, lack of management skills, and lack of continuity)? Thanks for making this semester awful.
3. Dolphins Sucking for the First Time in my Life - The Dolphins have been good for as long as I have been alive. They have always been a decent/contender franchise. But thanks to Ricky Williams, tons of injuries, and lack of a quarterback, nick knack paddy-whack, they have only won two games this season. Isn't Florida allowed to have at least one good team?
2. Ashlee Simpson Somehow Becomes Famous - This makes me so mad. When I first show the show, I said to myself, "If this stupid, superficial, trying-too-hard dumbass becomes popular, it will prove to me once and for all people will suck up anything television throws at them." 3 million albums later, I now know people are 100% ruled by TV. First off, she acts like the gayest fucking person to ever live--her way of being a 'rebel' and 'outrageous' and 'wacky' consists of her making faces and doing voices. Don't believe me? Watch the damn show, but think about "Why do people think this girl is fun?" when you watch it. All she does: make goofy faces, talk about how punk she is, and sing so off key I actually laughed when I saw it. Come on, everyone, you know she can't sing for shit. Really. I mean, listen to her finished product; the tracks off her album even sound bad. State of the art technology could not make her into a better singer. You know who I blame this on? Her father. This guy must sit at Satan's left hand. He's her manager, the executive producer of her and her sister's show, et cetera et cetera. This guy is using his daughters as a pension plan. What an asshole. I bet if a sex tape with either one of them on it comes out, he'll be involved. Whore your daughters to the mass media all for some money. Fucking prick. Speaking of pricks....
1. Bush Wins - There's nothing left to say about this. I still get these waves of fear when I think about the fact he will be in office until I am 25. With this guy at the helm, I will have a lot worse things in my "Worst of..." in the years to come.
5 Best Things About 2004
5. Yankees Didn't Win the World Series - It's such a good feeling to know that all these annoying, fake ass Yankee fans were once again denied the chance to yell "27 CHAMPIONSHIPS, BABY!!!! WOOOO!!!" Really, with they way they restructure every off-season, and the way they pillage teams like Norsemen, you should except nothing less. And, add to the fact that it was the Red Sox, you had so many Yankee fans left with only one thing to say: "Yeah, well, uh......26 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS, BABY!!!! WOOOO!!!"
4. Grilled Cheese Videos - Hopefully we will get them online sometime. These things were so fun to make, and it's awesome that everyone likes them. I just kind of find it weird that of all things to catch on, it would be movies about grilled cheeses. It just proves people will buy into anything.
3. Quizno's -They opened one up right near my house over the summer. I have probably spent about $300 dollars since then on the near-perfect Chicken Carbonara. I have never eaten a sandwich like this before. You just have to make sure they put it through twice. I sometimes get tempted to start a franchise of this place. I really think anywhere you put it. It would make so much money, like the Arab who owns this new one. For the rest of the summer, you couldn't go there between 12 and 2:30, the lines would seriously be out the door.
2. Metal Gear Solid 3 - I have waited three long years to find out who the Patriots are. And although I am not totally content with what I found out, I am still glad they came out with a game with such great gameplay, and the classic Metal Gear storyline. Throw in the mother of all boss battles, which I still defy someone to beat it in under an hour. I just don't believe it can be done. I love those games so much. It doesn't get any better.
1. The Establishment of "oan" - This has changed my life. Who knew some random babble between me and Jackobel on the way home from white water rafting would turn into what it has become. I can't even go home anymore without our insane dialect creeping up on me and just jumping out of my mouth whenever I speak to anyone. I tip my hat to you, Carl Johnsoan. Jeffersoan. Clintoan. Nixoan. Madisoan. Washingtoan. Lincoan. Wilsoan. Hamiltoan.
5 Worst Things About 2004
5. Working at Tuesday Morning - This place sucked so bad. I figured working near the place where the rest of my friends worked would make for a less boring day, the fact that it was 2 seconds from my house meant that I could get up for work 5 minutes before I had to get there, and besides, who goes to Tuesday Morning? There can't be that much to do, right? EEEEEENNNNNNHHHHH. Wrong. Try unloading 900 boxes at 8 in the morning when it is 80 degrees out, leaving work to go to math class, then coming back to open all the boxes at breakneck speed. Then have a boss breathing down your neck asking you when all the boxes will be opened and how she used to do the same job by herself in one day. Bullshit. Your niece is a lesbian. If you were so skilled at it, why did you hire ME to do it? You wander around the store all day, and you're going to ask me why I'm not done opening a pile of boxes literally 11 feet high that all came from India and are all wrapped in Styrofoam and have bugs in them that look like they're from Total Recall? Get the fuck out of here. How about I just stop showing up? Keep your big lesbo workforce. Get them up at 7 to sweat their fallopians off. I don't need you and your shitty pay.
4. Taking Intro to Business - Dr. Walsh, it is not possible for me to memorize every single paragraph in 350 pages worth of material. And thanks by the way for giving us quizzes every week. And thanks for having a 2 1/2 hour class that you give us no break because you'll 'let us out early'. Oh, and I really appreciate you giving us 6 possible essay questions with 2 going to be on the final and we have to do both? I really am happy I am wasting my time memorizing 4 essays that I won't even need. What kind of teacher are you? Who says straight off, "I make my tests intentionally hard,"? Why would you do that? What pleasure do you get out of it? If you know its hard, why leave it that way? Do you think we have nothing else going on in our lives than to recite the three great economists and the pros and cons of a sole proprietorship (ease of start-up, possible tax advantages, secrecy, but unlimited liability, lack of management skills, and lack of continuity)? Thanks for making this semester awful.
3. Dolphins Sucking for the First Time in my Life - The Dolphins have been good for as long as I have been alive. They have always been a decent/contender franchise. But thanks to Ricky Williams, tons of injuries, and lack of a quarterback, nick knack paddy-whack, they have only won two games this season. Isn't Florida allowed to have at least one good team?
2. Ashlee Simpson Somehow Becomes Famous - This makes me so mad. When I first show the show, I said to myself, "If this stupid, superficial, trying-too-hard dumbass becomes popular, it will prove to me once and for all people will suck up anything television throws at them." 3 million albums later, I now know people are 100% ruled by TV. First off, she acts like the gayest fucking person to ever live--her way of being a 'rebel' and 'outrageous' and 'wacky' consists of her making faces and doing voices. Don't believe me? Watch the damn show, but think about "Why do people think this girl is fun?" when you watch it. All she does: make goofy faces, talk about how punk she is, and sing so off key I actually laughed when I saw it. Come on, everyone, you know she can't sing for shit. Really. I mean, listen to her finished product; the tracks off her album even sound bad. State of the art technology could not make her into a better singer. You know who I blame this on? Her father. This guy must sit at Satan's left hand. He's her manager, the executive producer of her and her sister's show, et cetera et cetera. This guy is using his daughters as a pension plan. What an asshole. I bet if a sex tape with either one of them on it comes out, he'll be involved. Whore your daughters to the mass media all for some money. Fucking prick. Speaking of pricks....
1. Bush Wins - There's nothing left to say about this. I still get these waves of fear when I think about the fact he will be in office until I am 25. With this guy at the helm, I will have a lot worse things in my "Worst of..." in the years to come.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
The World Makes Another Assassination Attempt on my Happiness
If this happens, I don't know what I will do:
Marlins meet with Las Vegas mayor
Seriously. This is fucked up.
It would be like if they got rid of the Hartford Whalers.
I will have a breakdown if it becomes reality. No joke. A breakdown.
Marlins meet with Las Vegas mayor
Seriously. This is fucked up.
It would be like if they got rid of the Hartford Whalers.
I will have a breakdown if it becomes reality. No joke. A breakdown.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Detrimental to Society Beach
I hate that so Laguna Beach so much. Its on right now. It inspired me to write this.
Have you ever seen it? It is the biggest piece of MTV, young-rich-kids-are-great masturbation I have ever seen. The basic premise is like 6 kids who live in Laguna Beach, CA. That's it. They just film these kids doing shit. But not realistic shit. The episode I'm watching now is about what these kids are doing on summer vacation.
What are they doing, you ask? Working jobs? Taking classes? No, no , no, that's really not hip. They sit on the beach. All day. The surf, and wear $500 sunglasses, skateboard, and drive around in thirty thousand dollar cars.
Right now they are sitting in a jacuzzi. All the girls and guys look alike. All of them have those gay trucker hats on, and gay clothes. It looks like an Abercrombie commercial. Like all giggling, and the guys acting 'silly' by making a stupid face, and tickling each other and shit. This one kid used rad, stoked, and amped, literally in one sentence. It makes me mad at the world.
This is not real life. They should show these kids working. No, lifeguarding is not a job. A real job, where you have to deal with the public all day long. All kids like this are lifeguards. I bet if you like this show, you were probably a lifeguard at some point.
The show has a lot of 'drama'. Please. Yeah, of course if you have everything, and do not have to work for anything, the only way you can occupy yourself is to magnify tiny fights with your friends into the four Horsemen of the apocalypse riding into town on horses with armor. Base an entire episode on some guy's girl like not talking to him for a few days, because he said that his friend liked her when he knew that the girl his friend liked didn't like him and liked his brother and then when his friend who liked the girl asked the girl who she liked and she said she didn't know and then Tracy heard that she was going to go to the dance with Alex and they already put a deposit down on a limo and didn't even ask Karyn if Ted had Sam's Jenny Mark Todd Brittany. That's all that this show is about.
They also have the gayest names in creation. WOW! You're names Talan!!! Like a hawk's talon but spelled different! Your name is Lo! What the fuck is that! You know their parents did so much cocaine in the 80s its not even funny.
And there are some girls I know (who will not be named because if someone found out they watched this show they'd have a scarlet letter sewed to their clothes and cast out of town), who follow it so much, they were saying things like "Can you believe Lando is taking the top guy spot of the group, and Chrissy is taking the head girl spot from Allison?"
Seriously, if you watch this show, you must hate your life. Its not even that they do interesting stuff, it's just typical petty infighting bullshit.
Read a book, or run a lap, or something. Anything other than this. Throw bleach in a friend's eyes. It will be less painful.
I hate all of you so much.
Have you ever seen it? It is the biggest piece of MTV, young-rich-kids-are-great masturbation I have ever seen. The basic premise is like 6 kids who live in Laguna Beach, CA. That's it. They just film these kids doing shit. But not realistic shit. The episode I'm watching now is about what these kids are doing on summer vacation.
What are they doing, you ask? Working jobs? Taking classes? No, no , no, that's really not hip. They sit on the beach. All day. The surf, and wear $500 sunglasses, skateboard, and drive around in thirty thousand dollar cars.
Right now they are sitting in a jacuzzi. All the girls and guys look alike. All of them have those gay trucker hats on, and gay clothes. It looks like an Abercrombie commercial. Like all giggling, and the guys acting 'silly' by making a stupid face, and tickling each other and shit. This one kid used rad, stoked, and amped, literally in one sentence. It makes me mad at the world.
This is not real life. They should show these kids working. No, lifeguarding is not a job. A real job, where you have to deal with the public all day long. All kids like this are lifeguards. I bet if you like this show, you were probably a lifeguard at some point.
The show has a lot of 'drama'. Please. Yeah, of course if you have everything, and do not have to work for anything, the only way you can occupy yourself is to magnify tiny fights with your friends into the four Horsemen of the apocalypse riding into town on horses with armor. Base an entire episode on some guy's girl like not talking to him for a few days, because he said that his friend liked her when he knew that the girl his friend liked didn't like him and liked his brother and then when his friend who liked the girl asked the girl who she liked and she said she didn't know and then Tracy heard that she was going to go to the dance with Alex and they already put a deposit down on a limo and didn't even ask Karyn if Ted had Sam's Jenny Mark Todd Brittany. That's all that this show is about.
They also have the gayest names in creation. WOW! You're names Talan!!! Like a hawk's talon but spelled different! Your name is Lo! What the fuck is that! You know their parents did so much cocaine in the 80s its not even funny.
And there are some girls I know (who will not be named because if someone found out they watched this show they'd have a scarlet letter sewed to their clothes and cast out of town), who follow it so much, they were saying things like "Can you believe Lando is taking the top guy spot of the group, and Chrissy is taking the head girl spot from Allison?"
Seriously, if you watch this show, you must hate your life. Its not even that they do interesting stuff, it's just typical petty infighting bullshit.
Read a book, or run a lap, or something. Anything other than this. Throw bleach in a friend's eyes. It will be less painful.
I hate all of you so much.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Hit the Nail on the Head
Auto response from silvamania (1:01:18 PM): I hate these kind of profiles....
OMG OMG OMG I LOVE MY GIRLS FROM THE BLOCK !!
HEY TEZO ! BIG JELLO IN THE OVEN !! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!
DELTA KAPPA MEGA WUTNOW GIRLS YEA !!!!! ALWAYS A PROBLEM!!!
RICHIE GARBER <3
OMG OMG OMG I LOVE MY GIRLS FROM THE BLOCK !!
HEY TEZO ! BIG JELLO IN THE OVEN !! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!
DELTA KAPPA MEGA WUTNOW GIRLS YEA !!!!! ALWAYS A PROBLEM!!!
RICHIE GARBER <3
College Has Become So Monotonous
Finally finished our video project. Well received by the class. Big laughs for the sex scene and the drive-by.
Finally finished last Monday class schedule, and last Intro to Business class.
But I still have to take finals.
The next week and a half is going to be full of studying. I'll post when I can, probably when taking some time out to relax.
This page is getting stale with no updates. I don't want that to happen.
If you are bored, and it is between 8pm and midnight EST, go here to turn some guy's Christmas lights on and off on his house.
December 7th, 1941 - a date which
will live in infamy...
Finally finished last Monday class schedule, and last Intro to Business class.
But I still have to take finals.
The next week and a half is going to be full of studying. I'll post when I can, probably when taking some time out to relax.
This page is getting stale with no updates. I don't want that to happen.
If you are bored, and it is between 8pm and midnight EST, go here to turn some guy's Christmas lights on and off on his house.
December 7th, 1941 - a date which
will live in infamy...
Saturday, December 04, 2004
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Focus On Doing Your Show, Lisa P.
Auto response from Fantom05 (2:01:34 PM): why cant anything EVER go smoothly?
WONY Request (2:01:34 PM): becasue you are dave abra,s. put THAt in your blog! :-
Shut up you whore.
WONY Request (2:01:34 PM): becasue you are dave abra,s. put THAt in your blog! :-
Shut up you whore.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
The Missing Link(s)
Two things that made me laugh my ass off today:
Fuck Yeah!
and:
eBay bidding
Nobody would be this dumb, excpet for someone who's name was nascarfan82088
Fuck Yeah!
and:
eBay bidding
Nobody would be this dumb, excpet for someone who's name was nascarfan82088
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)