...And You Know We Don't Give A Fuck If It's Your Birthday...

This is something that has bothered me for quite some time. I find it is much more prevalent in girls, but there are some guys who suffer this annoying disorder. I, of course, am talking about what the French call C'est mon anniversaire que j'ai besoin d'attention constante, or the Birthday/Attention Disorder.

This is when someone you know has their birthday coming up, and they demand that everyone they know make a big deal out of it. They need people to call, send them flowers, send them cards, carry them around on their shoulders so they don't have to walk, and so on.

Who cares about your birthday? So what. You have one every year. Why do you think you deserve preferential treatment because you popped out of a vagina on that day however many years ago? I mean, the stuff with family is permissible, like going out to dinner or something, but who the hell do you think you are they you expect your friends to lavish you with everything under the sun? My friends and I don't even know each other's birthdays. And even if we do, we don't care. No presents. No cards. No balloons, or cakes, or streamers. SOME of us go to work and do things we don't want to on our birthday, and actually treat it like it's any other day.

"It's your birthday. Good for you."

That's all you need. Why do you think you deserve nonstop praise? Give me a break.

The worst is when something doesn't go their way on their birthday? I've noticed this mostly in girls; they sit there, hysterically crying, saying, "And it's my BIRTHDAY!!!! Everything is supposed to go perfect on my birthday!!!! WAAAAAA!" I remember watching The Real World once, and it was when Sept. 11th happened, and it was the girl's birthday, and she has the fucking nerve to say, "Why does this have to happen on MY birthday?" Are you serious? What the hell is wrong with you. And sadly, I think if most people were put in this situation, they would react the same way.

Shut up. Are you three years old? Deal with it. Maybe if you were a rational human being, you could handle the slightest thing going wrong on 'your day.' Take off the stupid crown that says Birthday Girl. Nobody cares.

On a completely different subject, I don't think Gary Puckett and the Union Gap get nearly enough praise or airplay on classic rock stations.