I had this idea in the shower; it's a simple technique to make people think you're cooler than you really are: go up to someone you know and use some made up slang to them, and then act like you can't believe they don't know what you're talking about when they look puzzled. For example, go up to someone and say, "Hey, you know where I can get a good haircut?" The person will probably look at you with a confused expression. Say "A haircut." When they say they don't know what the hell you're talking about, roll your eyes and be like, "Yeah. FIGURES. Whatever." I'm thinking of trying this on people to see their reactions. Even if no one else thinks its funny, I know I'll be rolling on the floor laughing.
This got me thinking. Why do they have the little rubber mats in some urinals? The urinal cakes I get, as well as the little plastic cage around said cake. But the rubber mats make no sense to me. Are they supposed to protect against splash ricochet? If so, they don't work; you get just as much splashback from a mat as you do from the naked porcelain. Honestly, I've never had too much of a problem with splashback. Usually I aim for the spot just above the water: it's low enough so you aren't hitting the flat part of the urinal which is more splash-prone, and it also isn't hitting the water directly, because that can cause some problems. Also, sometimes you have to try and regulate the force at which the pee-pee comes out. You don't need to be able to pressure clean a roof, but just want to get it out at a comfortable pace.
It's wild: this is something the female mind has absolutely no grasp of, yet to a male it is known without even consciously thinking about it. You probably don't even know your urinal habits, but you do have them if you think about it. We have so many years of pee experience that you don't even think about it. One thing I've noticed I do, and I'm comfortable admitting this, is that I put my right hand in my pocket while peeing at a urinal. Don't ask me why, but I do it almost every time, unless of course the facilities I'm using to not have adequate splashguards between the urinals, then I use the other hand for blocking.
Likewise, I have no knowledge of the girl methods to urination and so forth. This is something I'm happy I don't know; I can just imagine the insane and outrageous logistics for THAT set-up. I recently found out that a girl's pee comes out much like that of a boys, just positioned in a different manner. Never knew it before. I was under the impression it kind of shot out like a can of spray paint. I don't know how girl's walk around with those things between their legs.
Here is a guide for your reading pleasure: TravelMate Urinary Products. Electra complex, anyone?
3 comments:
spray paint? wow.
There is also the innate-in-men knowledge about which urinal to go to so there's a good "buffer" zone. Like a ballet in the bathroom, sometimes.
I definitely thought about adding something about the "don't-occupy-the-urinal-next-to-
someone-unless-you-have-no-choice" rule, but then I would be forced to go into all of the men's room etiquette, which would warrant its own post. But you're right.
In fact, I want to mention that the splashguards at my job are some of the best I've ever experienced. They are a good 2 1/2 feet wide, and easily 6ft. off the floor. You could have Yao Ming taking a leak right next to you, and even he would have a hard time trying to sneak a peek. If he was into that kind of thing. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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