Kanye West Doesn't Care About Any People.....Except Himself

I don't think there is a musician out right now that annoys me more than Kanye West.

For those of you who don't know, Kanye has made a habit of saying outrageous and controversial things since his break into the music scene two years ago. In that time, he has probably managed to ostracize 4/5 of the population, and has had more than one public temper tantrum. Last year at the Grammys, he walked away with two awards for Best Rap Song and Best Rap Album, but lost on other categories such as Best New Artist and Song of the Year. At the press junket, he threw a fit about how he was "robbed", and told everyone how fucking talented he is. I also saw some thing on MTV over the summer where they basically had him sit down and talk about how much of a genius he is and why it's OK for him to run his mouth the way he does.


Then, for a Hurricane Katrina relief celebrity telethon, he made the now-famous statement, "George Bush doesn't care about black people," causing Mike Meyers to look like he crapped his pants and made headlines across the country.

Now, Mr. Spoiled Brat is featured on the cover of the new Rolling Stone, [surprise surprise] claiming he is once again being robbed by the Grammys because his song "Gold Digger" isn't nominated for Rap Song of the Year. Oh, and just so he could piss off a few more people, he is dressed like Jesus on the cover.

I tell you, you can't really get any more pompous and full of yourself as this guy is. First off, his music is not revolutionary. It's not genre-defining. It's just what's out right now. Period. People like it because its been getting a lot of airplay, that's it. In a few months, "God Digger" won't be a hot song anymore, and anyone/place that plays it will be out of date. This is not the Beatles. This is Coolio for the 21st century.

Now I will admit some of his songs are good. But so what? That doesn't make you Emperor of the Universe. Besides, his songs are decent at best. I don't think many people listened to them and began to tear from how profound his words are. He is a average, basic, run-of-the-mill rapper who came from a middle class background. He said "Gold Digger" was a "gimmie Grammy," like it was so obviously an award winning song. Really? I could have sworn rap songs are supposed to RHYME. This song sometimes rhymes. Take a look at the lyrics.

[Jamie Foxx]
She take my money when I'm in need
Yea she's a trifflin friend indeed
Oh she's a gold digga way over town
That dig's on me

[Chorus:]
(She did me wrong
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm Need)
But she aint messin wit no broke niggaz
(She did me wrong)
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm need)
but she aint messin wit no broke niggaz
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head

[Verse 1:]
Cutie the bomb
Met her at a beauty salon
With a baby louis vuitton
Under her underarm
She said I can tell you ROC
I can tell by ya charm
Far as girls you got a flock
I can tell by ya charm and ya arm (rhyme the same words twice, eh Kanye?)
but I'm lookin for the one
have you seen her
My psychic told me she have a ass like Serena
Trina, Jennifer Lopez, four kids
An i gotta take all they bad ass to show-biz
Ok get ya kids but then they got their friends
I Pulled up in the Benz, they all got up In
We all went to Den and then I had to pay
If you f**kin with this girl then you betta be payed (stop rhyming a word with itself!!!)
You know why
It take too much to touch her
>From what I heard she got a baby by Busta
My best friend say she use to fuck wit Usher
I dont care what none of yall say I still love her

[Chorus:]

[Verse 2:]
18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years (do you see a trend appearing?)
I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money
Should of got that insured got GEICO for ya moneeey
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup
WE WANT PRENUP!, Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his

[Chorus:]

[Verse 3:]
Now I aint sayin you a gold digger you got needs
You dont want ya dude to smoke but he can't buy weed
You got out to eat and he cant pay yall cant leave
There's dishes in the back, he gotta roll up his sleeves
But why yall washin watch him
He gone make it into a Benz out of that Datson
He got that ambition baby look in his eyes
This week he moppin floorz next week it's the fries
So, stick by his side
I know his dude's ballin but yea thats nice
And they gone keep callin and tryin
But you stay right girl
But when you get on he leave yo a** for a white girl

Get down girl go head get down
Get down girl go head get down
get down girl go head get down
get down girl go head
(can you play that back)

I'd say about 95% of that song did not rhyme. If a rap song doesn't rhyme, then what is it? Just words spoken to a beat. Anyone can do that. And no, you CANNOT rhyme a word with that same word, and no, it does not count if you mispronounce a word to make it sound like it rhymes. Like lipo and Michael. No way do they rhyme. Unless, of couse, you take the technique that the "genius" has, and pronounce Michael "Mike-O." Doesn't work. The song sucks. It is poorly written. You want a Grammy? DO SOMETHING THAT DESERVES IT. I mean, I could make up a song right now on the fly that rhymes the way "Gold Digger" does. Ready? Watch.

I'm a street thug, I always carry a gat

Watch out when you see me and I'm holdin' my gat

Because I'll shoot anything; a dog, bird, or a cat

Always aim, shoot to kill when I roll with my gat

Now do I deserve a Grammy for that? According to Kanye West I should.

Some parts of the interview have been revealed previous to the magazine's Friday release. This is my favorite selection.

"In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts," he says. "You want me to be great, but you don't ever want me to say I'm great?"

Now you're getting it.

People don't like Kanye because he's successful and black. Or maybe
it's because he never shuts his fucking mouth.

The Boys are Back in Town

Today kicked off the last first day of school at SUNY Oneonta. Silva and I were talking about how surreal the fact that we are in out last semester of college is. I can remember that night where all of us were sitting in the hallway so clearly. What a wild ride it's been.

But before we get to reminisce too much, we still have a semester of work and (unavoidably) frustration ahead of us. Today I tried to get a parking permit so I don't get tickets every time I try to use to gym we pay hundreds for each year yet don't have any parking spots for people who don't have a parking pass. Anyway, long story short, they said since I couldn't produce my vehicle registration card, I can't get a pass. Then, the lady says she'll "help me out", and gives me a ONE DAY temporary parking thing to hang from my mirror. Oh thanks, lady, problem solved.

Also, I'm pretty fed up with seeing these kids who wear these knit hats that have a bill like a baseball cap on it. All these kids love Fallout Boy and have long hair, and throw on this fucked up hat, crooked on their heads mind you, and walk around and make me look at them. Seriously, can there be ANY fashion trend that doesn't annoy me?

Tonight I have to unpack all my clothes, then I think I'm going to jump back into playing my new game of choice, Shadow of the Colossus. It's pretty different, but a lot of fun, and I can understand why I had never heard of it before five days ago.

I have a sinking feeling all I'm going to hear about this semester is how awesome online poker is. It's amazing to me how I can be such good friends with people I can't talk to anything about. But since "anything" has become "online poker" in our circle of friends, I guess it's not that big a deal. When Gish and Silva launch into long diatribes about pocket jacks and how no one bluffs in online games, I just pick my nose.

My books this semester only cost $90. Face eater.

I got an idea for the perfect reality show before: you take a bunch of contestants, put them in an old prison, have them sleep, eat, shower, all like they're in prison, with guards and everything, and the goal is to be able to escape without being caught. If you get caught, you are off the show. Have challenges and stuff with people getting to visit their families and like little tools that might help them escape. First one out successfully wins a million dollars. Call it "The Great Escape." I would love a show like this.

Ok, fellers. I've got stuff to do.

Urolagnia, but Non-Sexual

Going back up to school in a week. Not particularly looking forward to it. One of the few reasons I am looking forward to going back to Oneonta is because during the last few parties we had at the Elm St. house, we put on Matt's bootleg The Buzz CDs. Everyone loved hearing the "back in the day" 90s music. Wanting to optimize the experience, I went through my iPod and made a 48-hour ultimate Buzz playlist, from which we will craft the most solid party CDs ever created. The feeling you get when a song you love and haven't heard in years comes on is unrivaled.

I had this idea in the shower; it's a simple technique to make people think you're cooler than you really are: go up to someone you know and use some made up slang to them, and then act like you can't believe they don't know what you're talking about when they look puzzled. For example, go up to someone and say, "Hey, you know where I can get a good haircut?" The person will probably look at you with a confused expression. Say "A haircut." When they say they don't know what the hell you're talking about, roll your eyes and be like, "Yeah. FIGURES. Whatever." I'm thinking of trying this on people to see their reactions. Even if no one else thinks its funny, I know I'll be rolling on the floor laughing.



We were at a bar in Smithtown, and this was what was printed on the little rubber mat in the urinal. I pissed on him.

This got me thinking. Why do they have the little rubber mats in some urinals? The urinal cakes I get, as well as the little plastic cage around said cake. But the rubber mats make no sense to me. Are they supposed to protect against splash ricochet? If so, they don't work; you get just as much splashback from a mat as you do from the naked porcelain. Honestly, I've never had too much of a problem with splashback. Usually I aim for the spot just above the water: it's low enough so you aren't hitting the flat part of the urinal which is more splash-prone, and it also isn't hitting the water directly, because that can cause some problems. Also, sometimes you have to try and regulate the force at which the pee-pee comes out. You don't need to be able to pressure clean a roof, but just want to get it out at a comfortable pace.

It's wild: this is something the female mind has absolutely no grasp of, yet to a male it is known without even consciously thinking about it. You probably don't even know your urinal habits, but you do have them if you think about it. We have so many years of pee experience that you don't even think about it. One thing I've noticed I do, and I'm comfortable admitting this, is that I put my right hand in my pocket while peeing at a urinal. Don't ask me why, but I do it almost every time, unless of course the facilities I'm using to not have adequate splashguards between the urinals, then I use the other hand for blocking.

Likewise, I have no knowledge of the girl methods to urination and so forth. This is something I'm happy I don't know; I can just imagine the insane and outrageous logistics for THAT set-up. I recently found out that a girl's pee comes out much like that of a boys, just positioned in a different manner. Never knew it before. I was under the impression it kind of shot out like a can of spray paint. I don't know how girl's walk around with those things between their legs.



Here is a guide for your reading pleasure: TravelMate Urinary Products. Electra complex, anyone?

Yo Delicious!!!

A rare lazy day for me. Sleeting outside. Thought I would share something I found quite funny: Larry David's Op/Ed article in the New York Times about Brokeback Mountain.

Cowboys are My Weakness

Enjoy. It's prit-tay, prit-tay, prit-tay good.

"Ok, assy. And what is all that shit all over your shirt? You been scrounging around looking for asses?"