Sin Shitty

I am never going to go see a movie in theaters again. I can't afford it, it's too damn expensive.

Last night I went with Joe Gibbs and Liz to see Sin City. From what I had seen and heard about it, it looked like it had a lot of potential. But, alas, I was not satisfied. Imagine that; me of all people, not liking something. Crazy.

Maybe I wasn't in the mood to watch a movie; I was aggravated within five minutes of being in the theater. We walk into the Commack theater, and it was of course inhabited by four thousand sixteen year olds who know they are the toughest motherfuckers alive. We walk up to the counter: $9.25. What the fuck is that about? $9.25? It's not New York City. And even if it was, $9.25 is too much to spend on a movie anyway. Raise the price 50 cents since the last time I was there, probably over the summer. Bullshit.

So then we walk over to the concession counter. It is a requisite I get nachos at the movies, which are usually expensive anyways, but now its $4.25 for a small one. What? So I get a small nachos and a small cherry Icee, comes out to $8.16. So by myself I dropped eighteen bucks alone.

Then I get my stuff. No lie, the "drink" was no more than about three inches tall, and the nacho tray held about thirty of the small little round Tostitos chips. Joe got the large one, which is now the size of the regular. I was fucking pissed. What a fucking ripoff. Joe says to me, "Are you going to go write about this on your website now?" Yes, Joe. I am.

And these companies wonder why people download movies over BitTorrent. Because most of us can't spend $50 on a gamble of seeing a good movie or shit.

And on this gamble, I rolled snake eyes. Sin City wasn't bad, but it certainly wasn't good. It was super violent and had a lot of tits and asses in it, and dripped with comic book style. Which is all good, but when it goes on, and on, and on, you get tired of it. The movie can only ride style for so long before it becomes tedious, and Sin City relied HEAVILY on it. By the end of the movie, it bordered on annoying. The movie is split up into three stories that all have characters you really don't care too much about; it never drew you in enough. I sat there waiting for something to grab my attention, but Sin City only did so for mere seconds a a time, the rest of it was just filler dialogue and cinematography trying to be an updated and gory version of movies like The Maltese Falcon and Double Indemnity.

The violence got boring. In the movie, people either get shot in the crotch or their nuts ripped off no joke about eight or nine times. The first time it happens, you say "Oh shit!", but by the last one in the farmhouse, you just shrug and mutter, "Again? Can't you think of anything else?"

Plus, the movie was about forty minutes too long. I looked down at my watch because I thought it might be over, and not even an hour had passed by. Not the sign of a good flick.

Sin City was a lot like purgatory: not bad, but not great. I can't say it was horrible, but it was definitely not worth nine bucks. If you're planning on seeing it, it's a rental at best. The best thing to do would be to borrow it from one of your friends when the DVD comes out.

As me and Joe Gibbs walked out, we were forced to give it a 2 star rating, following the strict guidelines of Netflix recommendations.

And that's the end of that.

Back to school tomorrow. Preparing for a week of nonstop suck. Wish me luck.