We were professional wrestling fans.
RAW or Nitro, we would all rush into school on Tuesday morning to discuss what had happened the night before.
"Did you see the New Age Outlaws join the Corporation, only do turn on them at the end of the night?"
"Who knew Vince Russo was such a dick?"
"What's up with this GTV?"
Add into this the video games (WCW Revenge, WWF Attitude, Wrestlemania 2000), the t-shirts, and the arena events, we all probably spent upwards of $500 - $1000 on our obsession. I know I had all the games, a Rock shirt, and an ECW shirt, as well as attending my fair share of events at the Nassau Coliseum, including the one where Droz broke his neck.
Hell, my pals and I not only started doing some backyard wrestling (some of the funniest and coolest shit I've ever done), but even had a Hardcore Championship Belt circulating around our high school for a few weeks, kids running into random classes to punch the title holder in the head during math. It was Eden.
But wrestling got too big for its britches. It got stale. I still remember when it began to become 'uncool' for me. The Rock was the master of the catch phrase, but when he started his 'Tall Glass of Shut Up Juice' campaign, I began to become disenfranchised.
Sometimes I find myself looking back on those times with fond memories. I still see commercials for some of the shows or video games, not recognizing any superstars. Hell, it's freakin' called WWE now! This is not the wrestling I grew up with.
But I still sometimes wonder: what happened to some of those guys? You might, too. And if you do, you're in luck. I'm about to give you a quick update on some of the more memorable stars from WWF, WCW, and ECW. If you don't care, read it anyway, asshole. I'm sure you have nothing better to do, anyway.
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New Jack- This guy was my favorite wrestler. Period. No one was tougher. The guy was a fucking bounty hunter before he was a wrestler. My brother was more into the technical guys. I liked the no-talent, hit people with random objects, beat myself to death for the amusement of the fans guys, and this guy was king of them all. I once saw this guy jump off a scaffold about 20ft. tall and have a 400lb. giant fat white guy fall on his head. I thought he died; how foolish of me, no one could stop New Jack.
Except apparently, for the law. Seems just two weeks ago, New Jack was arrested for stabbing another wrestler 14 times. You can't get manlier than this guy. But, sadly, he's broke, and can't afford the $5000 bail. If you'd like to contribute to his bail, go on eBay and bid on getting a phone call from New Jack from prison. Not joking.
Road Dogg - "Oh you didn't know? Your ass was a failureeeeeee at lifeeeeeeee!" This guy was a such a fag. Turns out the former member of the New Age Outlaws was released from the WWF in 2000, for constant drug and family problems. Surprise surprise he was in a drunk driving accident in 2001. He's now wrestling in TWA:TNA, which stands for no name federation that no one cares about.
Holy crap, just thinking about it makes me remember how bad this guy really was. Remember his finisher? Shake, Rattle, and Kneedrop? That's not a move. You're terrible. Get your barber's license and make something of yourself. And whoever told you that you don't look gay with a knotted peice of hair hanging in your face lied to you.
Mean Street Posse - These guys were such a joke its not even funny. Even when they came out, I remember making fun of them, so who cares that the hell they're doing? Although, if someone dressed up like them for Halloween one year, that would be one of the best costumes ever.
Crash Holly - Dead.
1 comment:
I had an exboyfriend that also had a backyard wrestling league/champiobshipo thing gonig on in his backyard, He had a wrestling belt. At the time we were in college. He showed it to me. I broke up with him soon after.
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