Life Likes to Kick My Ass

Sometimes I feel my life is controlled by the moon, like the tide; one minute the tide is coming in and things are going well, the next, the tide is going out and my life smells like rotten fish. Every time without fail. I never, ever have a good day without a bad one following right behind it. It's gotten to the point where DURING my good day I start to feel uneasy and sad, because I know it will not last and things will suck tomorrow. Today is a perfect example of a low tide day.

I was up at 8:45 in the morning to catch the 9:30 bus to campus. I had to wake up particularly early because I had to move the car from the 3rd level of the parking garage to the first, because of some scheme by the Oneonta police to give out more tickets and get more revenue. Anyway, so I get on the bus, and for some reason, only one bus was running this morning. Which meant that there were about 125 people on a bus meant for around 45. Plus, the ugliest girl alive was sitting in my line of sight, which made being cramped on a hot bus with an ass in my face even worse.

So I get to campus, rush over to Netzer to get an add/drop form to drop my Broadcast Announcing class, and try to swap it; the day before I had found a perfect class to replace it, which would not only release me from Madden's enunciation prison, but also allow me to have no classes on Fridays. So I get the form, and go to see if the teacher (Cunningham) I need to switch into is in his office to sign off on it. He isn't. Not only that, but he is teaching at Hartwick all day, and will only be on campus for his 2 o'clock class. SO I start to plan around catching him before his class begins.

I sit through Murphy's TA class. I spend the 45 minutes before my next class sitting outside. I go to class, then realize I have 45 minutes to kill before I can see Cunningham, so I decide to go to the radio station for a while.

Mistake. First off, there is a freshman roaming the hallway, who comes up to me and asks how do you "work" for the station. So not only do I have to go through the whole spiel about the station and training, but the kid also looks way too similar to Handsome Pete, which was definitely throwing me off while I was trying to talk to him. It was that bad. Then a few kids come down and ask me where the vinyl is so they could do their show. So I have to make a hundred calls to try and track down the vinyl. Finally, I get fed up and just leave. All I wanted to do was check my e-mail and sit on the computer for a few minutes.

It is now a few minutes before two, so I walk to the room he teaches the class in and wait. When he finally shows up, I say hi and ask him if I would be able to sign into his class. Cunningham looks at me and says:

"Nope. Sorry. Good-bye."

Complete and utter rejection. I couldn't believe he just so nonchalantly and matter-of-factly shot me down. I walk out of the room, stunned. I then realized I not only had a mere two hours left before add/drop ended, but also was late for my doctor's appointment. I call Kristin in a frenzy, telling her I didn't know what to do and find me any class where the teacher would be available to sign me in right away. She begrudgingly said, "Ehhh.....I don't know what to do." So I hung up on her.

I ran to the Health Center, signed in, and got set up in a room. (During the whole preliminary temperature/blood pressure phase of the visit, Kristin is incessantly calling me, and texting "You are an asshole" to my phone.)

Suddenly it hits me: I've been running around all over campus. I'm wearing jeans. It's hot out. My balls are really sweaty. I'm here for a abdomen/groin ache.

The doctor is going to have to touch my sweaty balls.

After I realized this, I waited for the nurse to leave the room and leave me to wait for the doctor to arrive. As soon as she shut the door, I jumped up, unzipped my pants, and started furiously wiping my sack with my boxers, in the hopes that I could wipe away most of the ball sweat before the doctor ventured down there.

The lady comes in, and in a first for getting a nut/hernia check, the doctor laid me down on the table, put a sheet over me, and started poking around what she phrased as my 'pubic region.' After poking around, making me cough, and 'checking for any masses' on my boys down there, she concluded I probably just strained a muscle in the area. A relief, but I still had the rest of my life to deal with.

Pretty much the rest of the afternoon consisted of me going to the registrar after Kristin found me another class, having to go find the teacher to sign off on the form, going to the top floor of the wrong building, going back down, going many floors up in the right building, and finding he wasn't there.

I screamed at Kristin for a good half hour, hung up on her several times because there's nothing I hate more than talking to a girl who is annoyed on the phone.

I walked into the apartment, realized I hadn't had anything to eat or drink all day, grabbed a green tea, and since I had to go BACK to campus an hour later for a radio station/SA meeting, sat down with a box of Triscuits, a slice of American cheese, and sat in the hot apartment with the blazing sun on my back eating Triscuits and American cheese. Silva takes one look at me and say, "Woah, you look like the most depressed person in the world right now."

I started laughing, because at that point things could not get much lower; I could do nothing else other than laugh at my whole situation.

Unfortunately, the week will not be easy from here; I've still got to try and attempt to fix this add/drop fiasco, have to go pay a parking ticket, plus Wednesdays are my long days and I don't get home until 9pm.

The only thing I hope is this means the tide will be coming in soon.