GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, MICKEY!!!!

For a long time, I've wanted to eventually leave New York and move back to Florida. But it seems in the ten years since we left the Sunshine State for the Big Apple, there have been some major changes.

Namely, a Bush has taken charge.

Now most people who read this thing know my political feelings towards our current administration. But seriously, even if you're a Republican, you HAVE to admit this is probably the stupidest law in the history of United States. I mean, even those weird laws you hear about that say its unlawful to put yellow pants on a duck while feeding him ice cream in March make more sense.

Attention: testy visitors risk being shot in Florida

Basically, this is what the law says:

A person under attack “has no duty to retreat and has the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force.”

Oh yeah, there's no ambiguity there. I can't see anything happening this Halloween, like, say, someone jumps out of the dark with a Dracula costume on and yells, "BOO!" and ends up getting stabbed or shot. But in Florida, they probably have a law stating that anyone who resembles a vampire must be killed on sight anyway, so I guess it wouldn't be a big deal. Big vampire problem down there, you know.

Does anyone remember that South Park episode where the kids went hunting with their uncle, and as long as they yelled "It's comin' right for us!", they could shoot any animal they saw in the forest? Pretty much you could do that in Florida now with humans.

Maybe I'll put off taking up residence in Florida for a while. I don't want to live in a state where they elected a Bush into higher office, they can't be too bright. Yeah, I'm lookin' at you too, Texas. You BOTH suck.




Florida's solution to overcrowded schools