Why Do Girls Continually Insist on Being Stupid?

If I read one more away message that says this, I am hiring a hitman to exterminate the lives of those responsible.

Life's too short to be anything but happy...break rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly,love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that once made you smile

Girls, stop it with this. You never live by these phrases you love to reflect on. You should, but don't.

Seriously, is there a website where they have shit like this written that all girls know about and simply cut and paste into their AIM? Because I've have read this like seven times this week alone.

Let's quickly break it down point by point. I'm tired and want to go to sleep:

1) Girls lives usually are anything but happy.

2) Break rules? Why? Because 'rules' limit the true fun you can have in life? Give it a rest. Don't make excuses for your wanting to be irresponsible.

3) Forgive quickly? Are you trying to be ironic? Girls forgiving quickly? There's no such thing, so don't even pretend. It would be wonderful if you listened to your own advise.

4) Kiss slowly.....sort of saying treasure the thrilling, meaningful moments? It's hard for me to believe girls think this way when I hear some girl from down the hall come into my room four times a week talking about how many guys she made out with each night. Doesn't sound like someone cherishing anything. (And no, don't say "Well that's just her," because it isn't, and you know it.)

5) Love truly? BAH! True love consisting of the guy who dresses the best or can make his hair look like the Gotti brothers? Girls don't want true love. It's a ruse, an excuse they use for banging a lot of guys, saying they only did it because they are still searching for the right guy.

6) Laugh uncontrollably. Bet you don't think I could be cynical about this one, huh? LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY FROM SMOKING TOO MUCH WEED IN YOUR DORM ROOM, KILLING YOUR BRAIN CELLS, NOT GOING TO CLASS AND WASTING THE MONEY YOUR PARENTS SENT YOU FOR BOOKS ON DRUGS!!!!!

7) You should regret stuff, even if you smiled, regret is natural, it's how you learn from your mistakes. People who walk around saying they have no regrets are the people who are too proud to say they fucked up and end up with a two-year-old at twenty-five with a husband who quit his real job to be an aspiring DJ in trance clubs, while you sit at home fucking teenagers from the nearby high school, charging them $50 for a blowjob so you can fuel your cocaine habit.