Bachelor Day

So yesterday I woke up at like 9, got up took a shower, etc. I went with Kristin, her roommate and their friend to breakfast at the Neptune. They all had some things they were doing together; going to see their friend play basketball, get some haircuts, go to a movie, change their tampons, you know, usual girl stuff.

This left me with a rare Saturday with really nothing to do. I got some work done early, but other than that, nothing was of terrible importance that needed to be done right away. It was going to be a Bachelor Day.

A Bachelor Day can happen with anyone, significant other or otherwise. All it really entails is being a complete lazy slob and doing nothing that could even be remotely construed as productive.

I knew this was also going to be a Bachelor Day for some others. I had to go down to Silva's house to retrieve my iPod from his house, where it was left for safe keeping instead of carrying it around in my pocket when I'm drunk, almost ensuring it would be lost. Anyway, so I go to his house. Everyone had left for the weekend, so he had the entire place to himself (which is an important element in a B.D.--total isolation).

I head in, and Silva looks as if he hadn't slept for three weeks, got hit by a train, and didn't bathe afterward. Grizzled face, wrinkled, stained, damp undershirt, worn and faded flannel pajama pants. His room had no lights on and had minimal light coming in from the cloudy, snowy day outside, there were clothes and papers everywhere, and sitting on his desk was the crust of a sandwich that had probably been eaten days ago. He was staring at his computer screen with a sniper's attention, playing Counter-Strike. This was the epitome of a B.D. if I had ever seen it.

I must have been subconsciously inspired, because I had a similar experience later in the day. I sat and listened to music while I browsed the Internet. Then I put in an old Western movie, got hungry, didn't fee like turning the movie off, so I ate cold soup straight out of the can. I ended up with soup all over front of my shirt, as well as the sleeves. When the movie was done, instead of turning it off, I just jumped on top of my bed with my sneakers on, folded my comforter in half and covered myself, and took a nap with the static DVD menu providing the only light.

I later ordered a pizza and watched another movie. Then I masturbated. Then I played video games.

The only way a day like this could be topped is if I won the lottery.